Compost Bin Returns: A Homage to Granny Goo

It may surprise you to learn (or not at all if you know the first thing about web design) that I only have a very dim awareness of how I’m delivering these posts to you.  I am far from proficient when it comes to using this software.  Indeed, I had considered naming the site ‘A Moron’s Guide to Sustainable Living’, but it was pointed out to me that instead of, dear reader, nice people like you visiting my site I would be inundated with visitors who had just googled the word ‘moron’.  The upshot of all this is that things don’t always turn out the way I mean them to.  

I completed my original post on compost bins (see Compost Bin: Humble Beginnings) whilst visiting Granny Goo.  She very kindly took the illustrative photographs for me.  In the original post there were three images, green stuff, brown stuff, and stuff that really should never go anywhere near your compost.  Having happily published the first page I realised I’d made a spelling error, no problem I thought, that will be simple to put right.  I made the correction and updated the post.  Then the terrible thing happened; the text and images decided to rearrange themselves without my permission.  I rearranged them back. They rearranged themselves back and so on until I said some really terrible words.  In the end the final photo never made it into the post.  This was a shame because in making this final photo Granny Goo proved what a dedicated mum she really is.   So, in homage to Granny Goo and for your pictorial elucidation, here is some stuff you shouldn’t put in your compost bin.

Granny Goo's Work of Art

Granny Goo's Work of Art

I would like to point out that in order to compose this picture Granny Goo had to pull the previous Sunday’s roast out of her bin, expose her cat’s private business to the world, stifle her laughter whilst I begged a bemused sister-in-law for a used nappy, eat a kipper for her lunch that she probably didn’t really want and did an extremely good job of maintaining  her dignity whilst I fished about in ashtrays outside a supermarket in search of cigarette butts.  Thanks Mum!

Mothers’ Day is approaching.  I’m going to suggest that unless you’re presenting your mum with some daffs you’ve picked from your own garden, and you might not get away with this unless you’re under twelve, you give cut flowers a miss this year.  The cut flower industry is, sadly, not a sustainable one.  If you do go to a florists, ask questions about pesticides and where the flowers have come from, industry does respond to this sort of consumer demand.   A good alternative would be to have a tree delivered, Tree2mydoor.com have a good selection of natives, but also ornamental box and consevatory trees for those with less space.  If you really want to be green you probably couldn’t do better than buying your mum half an acre of rain forest from the World Land Trust.  Now that’s a big bouquet!

See also Wooden Compost Bin.

 

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